My Journey From a Nurse Practitioner to SAHM by Alex Derose

Raised as a devout cradle Catholic from a large family, I’ve always desired to be a wife and mother. I met my husband on Catholic-Match and was married as a young 23 year old recently after graduating nursing school. I soon found myself pregnant with our first child in graduate school.

As I was equally excited to be a mother and a Nurse Practitioner, I never really thought of my plan to balance both. I witnessed my own mom work part-time as a nurse while raising my siblings and I, (until she eventually transitioned to full time SAHM after my sixth sibling), and I guess I figured I’d do something similar.

However, as I began my new role from bedside to provider, I found myself faced with a level of unexpected stress. The stress of my new job was so high it was affecting my fertility cycle in a negative way. Our son was approaching two years old and I was longing for a sibling for him. The more I prayed, the more I realized the lack of sleep and job-related stress was the culprit. 

After much prayer between my husband and I, after a mere 6 months into my first job as a Nurse Practitioner, I decided to leave. I’d been tracking my cycle through the Creighton Model, and when we conceived our second son a mere two weeks later, I knew this was the right decision.

I entered the busy transition of a mom of two and at that time felt a sense of peace with my new role of “staying home.” Yet, after about 6 months of that, I became restless and decided to apply for an internship to learn Fertility Care at the Pope Paul IV Institute, (something I’d always wanted to do!) I took my six month old with me on a plane to Omaha, Nebraska to become trained and certified as a Fertility Care Practitioner and began ministering NFP teaching to couples and women at my local parish.

Within a year, I was pregnant again! A month before his due date I received a letter from my state board that my Nurse Practitioner license would expire if I didn’t complete the mandatory amount of clinical hours. I felt a wave of anxiety at the thought of my hard-earned license expiring! My husband and I decided I would apply for a job after the baby was born.

I soon found myself post-partum working a part time job in hospice and long-term care, and  thankfully renewed my license! Although I enjoyed the work, I began to feel a deeper tug to be more fully present at home. Our oldest son was approaching elementary age and our decision to homeschool solidified.

As the anxiety of decision fatigue crept back in, God blessed us with another new life. A week later the Covid pandemic hit, and our decision was clear as day. I would quit my job and finally stay home.

As I type this, I’m watching my fourth son napping in his crib while I type this, with my degrees proudly hanging on the wall. I know that someday I might re-enter my profession, but I’ve found the peace in my decision to be at home in this season.

It only took me eight years and four children to understand how I’m “using” my education every day as a wife and mother despite not receiving a paycheck ;) I had to understand where I was placing my identity and where that anxiety was coming from. It’s true what they say, there’s no one size fits all when it comes to our decision to work or stay home during the child rearing years.

We’re all making the best decisions we can for our family at this particular season of our life. The key is accepting that no matter which path we take, our identity lies as daughters of Christ. The rest are simply temporary labels.

I hope sharing my journey through each one of my pregnancies blesses you and provides you confidence to embrace the current season you are in! These days, you can find me writing about my journey into joyful motherhood @alexandriaderose on Instagram and my blog at joymamablog.com. May we all embrace the season we are in, free from anxiety of the past or future! Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. God Bless!