Quit the Labels by Martina Bohnslav
Which mom are you?
We have all seen the quizzes that tell you your “type” of mom: the sporty laidback mom that doesn’t sweat the small stuff, the overachieving PTA mom that has her kids lives micromanaged down to the minute, the influencer mom with her perfectly curated feed, and the hot mess mom that can never get anywhere on time and doesn’t know what a hairbrush is anymore. Yet, have you ever been able to pick just one? I know I haven’t. I feel like I have to cheat and create this amalgam of several of them to really describe who I am, and even that falls short.
In a society that is so quick and ready to give labels, Christian vs Atheist, Conservative vs Liberal, Helicopter vs Free Range, Crunchy vs dare I say Chewy - society wants to put people into a group and leave them there. But we are not a group, we are not just one facet of our beliefs or personality. We are women, wives, and mothers who have more to offer than what society has decided for us.
Motherhood is a vocation, it is not a career. What we bring to that vocation is shaped by how we were raised, the experiences we have had, and our personally held beliefs. There is no manual. Social media allows us to share with others only but a small portion of who we are. The things that inspire us, make us laugh, and ultimately bring us joy.
What people rarely choose to share are the struggles that they may be facing. The health issues, the financial stress, or the marital strife. Rarely does a mother choose to show the breakdown she just had in her laundry room after she yelled at her kids for the fifth time that morning.
Why? Because while many choose to criticize those who don’t show their “real” selves, many of those same people would criticize that mother all the more if she shared the less than beautiful moments. She would suddenly be labeled as “the bad mom”.
Social media is a double edged sword. On one hand, you can find design inspiration, incredible recipes, fashion recommendations, and posts that are so spiritually uplifting that you view them as a mini retreat for the soul. On the other, many of us seem to be fighting a constant battle of not comparing ourselves to the small snippets we see in little squares.
What all of these women have in common however, is that what you see is only a portion of who they are. Only a portion of their day, and only a portion of what they believe. Only a portion of their interests, their strengths and their weaknesses. Yet there is one fundamental thing they all share, yet is often forgotten, and that is their humanity.
We forget that the woman on the other side of the post is a real living and breathing person who faces challenges and set backs, hard days and let downs, kids who don’t listen, and laundry that never ends. We forget that on the other side of the post there is a person who has feelings and when someone makes a rude comment or snide remark they feel just as much anxiety and pain as a “real” person would in the “real” world.
We need to break the mold of what social media culture has become. We need to stop labeling people and situations we do not fully understand. We need to stop making assumptions about a persons life based off of a tiny square. In a world that is so ready to pin one group verse an other, let us remember our humanity, remember that our differences are what make us unique and let us guard our emotions the way we would guard our heart.
