I Never Would Have Imagined Becoming a Mom by Marina Scarrone

I would never have imagined becoming a mom. An only-child, rebellious teenager, deeply self-centered. I was more or less like that until I was 22, when I married Francesco. My conversion to the Catholic Faith had already started a few years before but with Francesco I really had "faith". Apparently, he wasn't really my type but he stole my heart anyway and on August 27th 2016 we got married. In the first five years of marriage, three beautiful lovely children were born: Leonardo, Chiara and Emma. Thanks to them I found my real self. But let me tell you it wasn't all perfect.... especially in the beginning.

The family I come from was not exactly a great example of good parenthood. My parents didn't know how to raise me and once I was a mum I had no role model to learn from, in order to raise my children. Good friends gave us some great advice and this was a huge help for us. But unfortunately, at first, I was dominated by anxiety and fears. People used to look at me as if I were still a girl, all my friends were still finishing university while I was at home with a baby, and after a difficult childbirth I didn't know where to start. I went on like that for a couple of years, handling my life between diapers, house chores and long hours spent cooking. Then Chiara arrived and as a second-born, brought chaos paired with a lot of crying, crisis, the feeling of not doing enough and of being a very bad mum.

Now things are a little bit different. I have three kids – Emma came seven months ago - and I've been living this new chaotic life for five years now. You will be surprised to hear that just in these last few years I have found out two very important things: who I really am and what my dreams are! I spent the first years being overwhelmed by anxiety because nobody had given me the skills I needed to change: I just needed to follow a new program (the Woman School), more self-awareness, a new way of looking at myself... and voilà! I started becoming the best version of myself. Suddenly I realized the arrival of my kids had awakened a miracle: I had been forced to get out of myself, to look after somebody else and to learn the art of self-sacrifice. As everybody knows, we can find out who we really are only by giving ourselves to others, unconditionally.

In five years I have become a very good cook cultivating my great passion for cooking, desserts above all. I have my own food blog and an Instagram page where I also share opinions and reflections on life. I’ve had a lot of time to listen, learn and grow according to my personal interests. Being a full-time housewife and mom was a choice that gave me the precious gift of time, free from the pressure of the working dynamics of the external world, I could manage my time intentionally and invest in the things that I really needed. Taking care of three children taught me how to open up to other people: my selfishness gave way to my husband's needs, my three little kids and all the people I met. Exactly for these reasons I have recently found out about my greatest dream: help people become a better version of themselves - through individual counselling- and start a community where all this can be possible in a concrete way, having the chance to live a journey surrounded by people who share the same needs.

Becoming a mom has taught me how to manage my life better: understand that I couldn't waste my time on thousands of useless things but instead using it for my real priorities. So I decided to live my time intentionally, devoting myself to what is really important for me in order to give my contribution to the world. It was part of this new management that I started a mastermind group with some friends so as to bring more and more growth and support in my life.

Motherhood was just the beginning of the discovery of myself. It opened my eyes to my talents. Suddenly I started to find so many things I could do! For 23 years I had looked at myself as a useless, powerless, incompetent person. Being a mum gave me the chance to draw out the skills I kept hidden. Above all, a great strength and ability in solving problems related to overwhelming situations. I learned the skill of recalibration and flexibility at the same time - because unforeseen events happen all of the time - while basing my life on strong values. I have found that I have something to give! Using my talents, I can finally help people who need me and can be available to those that God sends my way.

I still need to learn a lot and I have a lot of dreams that I want to make come true. Sometimes I forget that I already have the strength which generates these dreams, the fertile soil to let them flourish and grow: it's my family! Sometimes it’s a little bit dry or flooded by a summer storm but most of the time it is slightly wet, sheltered by trees, ready to be nurtured to let a new life grow. Every little thing growing in this fertile soil reaches the lives of the people around me and bears more fruits. This fertile soil is my way of being a mom: a safe place where, even in time of difficulty, crisis and inability to cope, I can see something new and wonderful growing.

I would never have imagined becoming a mom. But now that I am, I have started living for real. I found myself and a safe place to let my dreams grow.